Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
Or are you out of mind when you’re out of sight? In a long-distance relationship, there is a delicate balance between the two.
Yes, in a regular relationship, you can encounter stumbling blocks, but when long distance is added to the mix, unique challenges will arise that test the bond between you and your partner.
Here are eight issues that could damage or destroy your long-distance relationship.
1. Time Differences
When the sun is setting for one of you, it may be rising for the other, if you’re in different countries.
Time discrepancies can even have a significant impact if you’re only in other states.
When you’re refreshed and ready to start the day, your partner may be exhausted and just want to tumble into bed.
This leads to less communication, not to mention intense frustration.
2. Growing Apart
In a long-distance relationship, you’ll each start having experiences completely independent of the other.
It’s inevitable that you’ll both discover new places and meet a variety of new people.
You may be growing as individuals, but not as a couple, since you’re not exploring things together.
3. It’s Expensive
Whether you need to tank up multiple times, get a bus ticket, or pay for plane fare — maybe even a round-trip, international flight — you’re going to be shelling out money to bridge the miles.
And remember, the larger the distance between the two of you, the more money you’ll be shelling out.
It could even lead to arguments about who is paying for what, and how much.
4. Lack of Sex
Maybe you can subsist on racy Zoom rendezvous and naughty phone sex, but after a while, they can lose their allure.
Having marathon sex the intermittent times you’re together may temporarily satisfy you.
But then, when you separate, it may be harder to get satisfaction from relatively impersonal substitutes like Zoom and phone sex.
5. You’ll Only Be Able to Fleetingly See Each Other
Just as soon as your partner arrives, it will seem as though it’s time for them to leave.
You will try to cram as much as possible into the few hours or days you’re together, but after being separated for so long, it will never seem like enough.
You may even be possessed by a frantic urgency to do as many things as possible, and this desperation could mar the entire reunion.
6. You Haven’t Set a Date to Reunite
When your reunion date is vague or nonexistent, it could throw a serious monkey wrench into the relationship.
Why struggle to hold a long-distance relationship together when there’s no payoff?
You may find your interest in your partner waning because you have no discernible future to work toward.
7. Fidelity
Some couples in long-distance relationships have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” agreement about having sex with other people.
If you’re into having an open-ended relationship and can handle it without freaking out, go for it.
But otherwise, infidelity, or the suspicion of it, is one of the main things that can sabotage a long-distance relationship.
After being away from sex — and cuddling, kissing and hand-holding — the temptation may be great to seek it nearby.
The time apart leaves time to think and ruminate.
You may be distrustful of the people your partner has coffee with, or obsess about why it took them so long to answer your text.
You may make rampantly jealous accusations, or grill them about where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing.
This insecurity, possessiveness, and paranoia could drive the two of you apart, even if you’ve both been faithful.
8. Communication Issues
Communication can be difficult when two people are eye-to-eye in the same room.
But that difficulty ratchets up when you’re in far-flung cities, states, or countries.
When you’re attempting to communicate via phone, text, email, or social media, all nonverbal cues fall by the wayside.
You’re operating without gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and vocal tone.
For instance, things like an innocent joke, delivered in a text, could be misinterpreted as sarcastic and insulting, if not expressed in the context of body language and inflection.
Even programs such as Zoom can’t completely prevent muddled communication.
Long-distance relationships can be stressful, burdensome, and fragile.
They’re full of unique issues and circumstances that can make them more thorny than in-person relationships.
Consider the eight items above before making the leap into a long-distance relationship.
